My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
