How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
