There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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