Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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