i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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