nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
