I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
