Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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