so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
