Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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