someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize