Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize