just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
