"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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