i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
