U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
