Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
