I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
