Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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