Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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