he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
did i just pee glitter
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
