Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
