Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
