ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
