i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
