she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
