His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
