no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize