Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she woke up with a sticky ear
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it glows. i had to have it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
