Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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