well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize