I need help removing her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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