so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
