And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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