woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
