You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
