Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Terrible idea I love it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
