; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
