You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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