# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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