so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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