Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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