I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
