69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The Olympian is in my bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
