Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
