You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
