Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize