READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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