susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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