Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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