In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
