dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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