Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
