the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
