TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
