Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The Olympian is in my bed
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