Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
