CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
