It's Friday. Sex?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
