It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
