I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
