its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
