Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just threw up on my dentist
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
